The ultimate stadium

Last night, my friend Eric suggested that I design the ultimate stadium for collecting balls.
I’m not an architect, so forget the blueprints.

Instead, here’s my list of the greatest stadium features throughout the majors. If they could magically Mrpotatoheadbe combined into one ballpark, it would make one helluva ball-snagging experience…

–Wrigley Field’s Waveland Avenue beyond the left field wall
–SBC Park’s promenade and McCovey Cove in right
–Citizen Bank Park’s shallow outfield walls
–Coors Field’s thin air
–Fenway Park’s lax security
–PNC Park’s low railings and corner seats down the foul lines
–Jacobs Field’s “Standing Room Only” section down the LF line
–Camden Yard’s “Standing Room Only” section down the RF line
–Turner Field’s outfield seats and gap behind the wall
–Ameriquest Field’s grassy area in center field (for running after HR balls)
–Miller Park’s wide aisle in front of the press box (for foul balls)
–Shea Stadium’s protective screen (in which foul balls sometimes get stuck)
–Bank One Ballpark’s bullpens (for fishing out balls with the glove trick)
–Safeco Field’s retractable roof (so BP doesn’t get rained out)
–Dolphin Stadium’s rain (during the game to send wimpy fans running for cover)
–Tropicana Field’s attendance
–Rogers Centre’s apathetic fans
–Busch Stadium’s former AstroTurf
–Municipal Stadium’s seating capacity

Oh what fun that would be. I’d probably average 40 balls per game.

9 Comments

I like the idea…the grocery man would be right there with you (i know addy, im in his fantasy league)

i saw the balls photo album…its a shame you couldnt get any of those golden balls in the 05 homerun derby.

Hey Z,

Been a while, but I went to Minnesota to see the family.

I FINALLY got my Metrodome ball, and it was quite the event. I used my device and 44 feet, yes 44 feet of rope to snag my latest ball.

Batting practice was over, and since the Metrodome ***** and the Orioles were ignoring all of us, I thought I’d be shut out. Well, I saw a ball against a wall way near the back of centerfield. I checked the length of my rope, and I was short. My friend Michele who joined my wife, mom and I at the game gave me some dental floss to lengthen my rope. It was just enough line to reach the ball. I fought like crazy to steady the rope, and it was tough as anything. However, I eventually got it to settle on the ball, and with a little jerk, it stuck. YEAH, finally a ball at the stadium I used to see games in as a kid!

Now I’m back in Texas, and thank the LORD, Ameriquest is 100 times better for snagging.

I also got another ball from a different league, the Northwoods league, a wooden bat collegiate league. Interesting ball, it has green writing, and it’s made by McGregor.

joneli-
I hope you’re kicking the grocery man’s heinie in the fantasy league. I don’t know about those golden balls, though. I wrote a whole entry about them. Did you see it? I don’t like that they say “Century 21″ on them. Seems too gimmicky…though I’m sure I would’ve been psyched if I’d actually caught one.

drosenda-

I was wondering where you went. Hadn’t heard from you in a little while and started to worry. Congrats on the Hubert H. Humphrey ball, but forty-four feet?! Are you kidding me? Detal floss?! That’s a serious stealth operation. Security never gave you a hard time? I’m surprised to hear that a collegiate league lets people keep the balls.

Hey zack, what do you think about the new Shea and Yankee stadiums that are to be opened in 09? The ‘new’ yankee stadium will be far better in terms of hallways and exits — much like the new stadiums. Would it be easier to snag a ball from a new, modern stadium, or from an old stadium like current yankee stadium? Not sure about the new mets stadium, but the new yankee stadium looks awesome, yet this is probably bad news for you –new stadiums = more people attending games =(

That sounds like a hitters park if I ever heard of one. Citizen’s Bank park’s dimensions in Coors Thin air? You could probably get 40 HOME RUN BALLS a game!

Although the list of things you were saying reminds me of a corny idea I came up with of what a park that stole as many ideas from other parks as possible would look like in order to make it as corny as possible:

-Green Monster in left (Fenway)

-Warehouse behind the right field wall (Camden)

-Hill in center field (Minute Maid)

-All walls are covered in ivy (Wrigley)

evilsnare-
I saw a very basic plan for the new Yankee Stadium, and it looks incredibly similar to the current one, which means it will be a disaster. The wider concourses and all that stuff will be great; as it is, Yankee Stadium is cramped, so that’s be a big improvement, but the ball situation will not be good. You’re right about the crowds. That’s my biggest concern…althouth it’s hard to imagine the crowds being any bigger than they already are. As for the new Shea, I can’t say anything about it because I haven’t seen the proposed design.

dantv-

That IS corny, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I can’t wait to get a first-hand look at that hill in three weeks…

hey so I just stumbled upon your story on google. I am not really into baseball but I love design. If possible I think it would be really neat if you could get a very very large room, then lined it in Plexiglas big enough for the balls to fit. Put rope lighting in to frame it (very cheap). drop them in faced so you could see the logos. that would be a really neat room to walk into. Heck you could probably do the whole house with as many as you have. what do you think??

If I had the space and time and money, I would totally do something like that. Very cool idea.

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