Storage issues

It was bound to happen sometime: I have officially collected too many baseballs, and now I’ve run out of space.

Most of the balls are in my old–but newly renovated–childhood bedroom at my parents’ place.

2285_balls.jpg

I posted this pic once before. Here it is again to refresh your memory. Normally, all the balls are in the drawers, and all the drawers are closed, and all the barrels are covered.

My parents would like me to move the barrels downstairs to a basement locker. I’d rather keep them where they are.

Know this…
My parents live on the 10th floor in an apartment building in Manhattan. Yes, there’s an elevator, but each barrel holds 400 balls and weighs about 135 pounds. That’s a lot of schlepping. Still, that’s not even the issue. What it comes down to is that the basement is dark and creepy and filthy–like a murder scene from some mafia movie–with century-old steam pipes that look like they’re gonna spew asbestos and floor-to-ceiling cages stuffed with relics of people’s forgotten pasts. I don’t want my baseballs to be forgotten. As it is, I miss my childhood–and the bedroom that housed it. My 100,000 baseball cards have been packed up. My autographs are in storage. The newspaper clippings on the bulletin board are gone. Everything’s been repainted. New furniture. New lighting. Other than the queen-sized bed and a black desk, it’s an empty shell of my old life. The only thing unique to me that remains is the baseballs. Lots of baseballs. Over 2,400 baseballs. And when I finally get around to bringing over the ones I caught this season, there will be 2,752 baseballs.

I don’t go over to my parents’ place THAT often, but when I do, I always visit my old room and check out the balls. At family gatherings, people often want to see the balls. Occasionally, I’ll make a special trip with a friend who wants to have a look. I don’t want to have to take my friends into the creepy basement storage area and turn on the lights…and unlock that flimsy chain…and tiptoe into the locker…and remove a heavy sheet of sooty protective plastic. It makes me sad just to think about it.

But this IS my parents’ place. They’re the ones who live there, and they’d like to fully redecorate my old room and turn it into a cozy space for overnight guests–not that there are that many, but still. They have a right.

I recently conceded and said I’d move the balls to the basement.
Then my parents conceded and said I didn’t have to…yet.

Now what? I can’t decide. But one thing I do know is that I’m keeping the balls. I’m not selling them. I’m not using them. I’m not donating them. Someday, I will have kids, and those kids will see the balls. Period. (They’ll probably turn out to be Star Trek geeks who don’t give a ****. Serves me right.) What happens between now and then has yet to be determined.

Any suggestions?

For what it’s worth, here’s what the room normally looks like, when the balls are NOT on display:

Noballsinsight

Anyway, yeah…

8 Comments

..Maybe you could… uhhhh…

I was gonna say try to find a cheap storage place, but I don’t think such a thing exists in NYC.

One quick message.
You could fedex some of the baseballs over to my house!

And, I’ll send the email soon.

If your parents don’t make you, don’t move them. Keep them there until you absolutely have to. Eventually you shold submit them to the Baseball fans Hall of Fame. And if there isn’t a baseball fans Hall of Fame we should start one.

Build a wall there that looks nice but opens like a secret closet, keep them in there. Then with the garbage cans gone,the room will look nicer to your parents eyes and you’ll still have primo storage.

DAN-
You’re probably right. And anyway, nothing’s gonna be cheaper than the current situation.

DODGERS-

Yeah? You have room for 2,000 balls?

CARL-

Baseball FANS Hall of Fame. I like it. But would it be right to start one and then enshrine myself? Maybe I’ll just build a wall out of balls. The Ball of Fame.

CARLOS DELGADO-

I expect lots of balls from you next season.

Wussup Zack; How’s your winter going by so far? Dude I never knew life could be so boring without baseball..

Hey Zack!
Im beating you in the hockey puck department! Ive been to 3 games, and have a total of 2 pucks. Yeah!

Mets have Delgado and Wagner now. Two new Mets to get baseballs from! :)

Julie

EVIL-
Good to hear from you. Sorry for the delayed reply, but I tend to get as far away from baseball as possible during winter. Until I was about 18, I used to be bored out of my skull during the off-season, but now I have so many other things that I love/need to do that I’d go crazy if I didn’t have a few months off to pursue them. So the answer is: my winter is great, just as I expected. I’m finally getting the time I need to finish up what I hope will be my second baseball book…so I guess I’m not quite as far away from baseball as I’d hoped, but it’s still a nice break not to have to go to any games for a while. You just need one more obsession, and then you won’t miss baseball (as much) during the colder months. For me, it was initially Scrabble. Now it’s about 10 things.

JULIE-

Nice to hear from you as well. You might be beating me in “total pucks,” but I’m winning in the “pucks per game” department. So THERE. I got a ball from Wagner, back in ’99 at the Astrodome, so it’s really just Delgado that I’m thinking about. He’ll be a nice name to add to my list.

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